有時候我們會因為是好朋友或是非常要好的同學，不想失去這份友情，而一直忍耐和接受對方給於的情緒勒索；我有一位很好的同學她長期處在情緒的困惑中，她總是認為別人很奇怪，別人的問題很大，總是在說別人，而她無法真實地去面對自己的情緒。三不五時地就打電話來歇欺的里宣洩情緒，當她宣洩完後會說，我說完了…這就是我的個性。
她對自己的情緒非常不負責任，她的情緒是要別人來負責；我用各種方式勸導過她，甚至請她去看醫生等等…，她就是不肯，這樣的情形持續快一年了。
我不想再接受這樣的情緒勒索，四個月前她又重覆這種模式，莫明起妙地又對我言語上的暴力，我下定決心不再接受這種情緒勒索和言語的暴力，我勇敢地告訴她，請她自己負起自己認為被傷害的責任，以後不要再打電話給我。當我掛電話後，我全身在顫抖而無力，因為我不捨，但我必需放手讓她自己學習她自己的生命課題。這四個月來只要提到或想到這件事，我的情緒也會被影響到，因為我的內在小孩(小我)很不安，害怕被說、無情、沒有愛心等等…，這四個月來我不斷地陪伴我的內在小孩，我對我自己負起這種不安和恐懼的情緒，去照顧並了解我的內在小孩從小被灌輸了很多不必要的責任。
最近這兩星期，我發現這樣的事件會以不同的人和不同的事件再回來一次(這就是輪迴)，但都是同樣的情緒體，就看我如何對待自己和處理同樣的情緒體，我也發現我開始懂得拒絕別人對我無理的要求，同時我聽到內在小孩告訴我「我是直得被尊重得」，再回想起四個月前我與這位要好的同學所發生的事件，我已經不再恐懼和不安，不再害怕被說我沒有愛心或無情了，也不再用這種方式證明自己的存在價值感。我很高興四個月前我決心切斷這負面的能量，讓自己充分地照顧內在小孩並得到療癒，現在我真的可以很清楚而且肯定地對自己說「我值得被尊重的」。這件事讓我更深體驗到「放手就是愛，也是一種信任和謙虛。」~~Stella~~ Love Is Being Able to Let Go We tend to repeatedly give in to emotional blackmail demands by friends or close schoolmates due to the fear of losing them. I have a close friend who has been stuck in an emotional pit of confusion for long periods of time. Instead of dealing with her own emotions, she always blames other people for things that go wrong in her life. She constantly calls me up to vent hysterically. Once she gets everything off her chest, she would say, "I am done. Well, this is the way I am." She has been holding others responsible for how she feels. Despite my best effort to help, she refused to take any of my advice, for instance, seeing a counsellor/therapist. Situations like this, have been going on for nearly a year.
I am really tired of her emotional blackmail. About four months ago, she did it again. She behaved with verbal violence towards me for no reason. At that point in time, I decided not to be subjected to her emotional blackmail and verbal abuse anymore. I worked up the nerve to tell her that she should stop calling me and start taking ownership of her life that she felt victimized. After getting off the phone with her, my whole body was shaking and I felt very weak. I miss her but I know I have to let her go so that she can learn her life lessons. Ever since then every time I contemplate what happened between me and her, my emotions would be eating me inside. I could feel my insecure inner child rises to the surface and is in fear of being judged and perceived by others as heartless and uncompasionate. I took my own responsibility for feeling insecure and fearful by spending time accompanying and taking care of my inner child. Right there and then, I had an epiphany that my inner child had carried a lot of unnecessary emotional baggage since my young age.
In the past two weeks, I noticed the same old things would reoccur cyclically in a new disguise (this is so called "eternal return"). Looking back at how I dealt with this incident between me and my friend, I realized that I began to know how to say no to people's unreasonable requests. Simultaneously, I heard my inner child was telling me that I deserved to be respected. On top of that, I no longer felt scared and insecure. I was not even afraid of being described as ruthless or heartless. I don't need to prove my self-worth though this. I am glad that I decided to dispel this negative energy four month ago so that my inner child could be healed and taken care of. Now I can truly, clearly and surely tell myself that I REALLY deserve to be respected.
Love is being able to let go, trust, and humble.
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